What can I say to make you realize that you were not the reason why he left? It was not because you annoyed him or because you were bad in bed. It was not because you were angry or rude or jealous at the wrong moments. It was not because you were not attractive, or because you were not as sexy or as playful or innocent as other girls. He left because he wanted because he did not deserve the person you are, because he could not handle what it was like to date someone or kiss or love someone who was not an asshole.
He’s gone because you’re the kind of woman who made him work, challenged him, asked the questions that came in, that had a voice he did not want to hear. His reasons why he left you will make you wonder where YOU did not mistake you, but it’s his fault, not yours .
You are not in control of his uncertainties. You are not responsible for fixing his toxic past, and you do not deserve to deal with the effects of his failures. It’s not your fault how he deals with the toxicity of his childhood or previous relationships in which someone did something wrong. You are not responsible for correcting his insecurities when he uses them as an excuse for treating you badly, degrading you, shaming you.
He will try and try to convince you that you need him, that you are his, but you are nobody’s property. He’ll laugh when you feel like crying and he’ll turn your words to the point where you’re starting to believe them. He will cut you with words and deception. He will make fun of the love you have in your heart, the same love that gave him a chance, the same love that crushes one eye, the same love that made you feel that something good was burning in him.
You’re not the reason he chose to leave. You are not the reason why he was unhappy because he will be unhappy with the next woman and the next and the next, because he will never find peace to be happy enough with himself.
You are not the reason why he is broken.
Be your own source of happiness. Be your own reason to wake up in the morning, face the day and kick your ass while you do it. I promise you that these scars and those wounds will eventually fade. My people finally did it.
At some point he will step into the background. It becomes the warning story that you keep for rainy nights or during the first separation of your daughter, when she does not realize that the guy who just broke up with her reminds you of the person you loved all those years ago ,
And in the end, you’ll find that nothing has really changed. He will still be unhappy and uncertain about how he deals with the kind of love you were trying to offer him. He does not think he deserves it because he has struggled with the basic definition all his life.
The memories of who he was and what he did and how he made you feel will not define you forever. I assure you.