Love is … yes, what is love? Nobody knows that exactly. And as so often with uncertain things, one tries to get to the bottom of the matter with the exclusion procedure. About 3 feelings that are not love.
“A rose is a rose is a rose …” The most famous quote by the writer Stella states (depending on the interpretation …) that things that you name are really there.
What a rose may look like is not so clear about love . What is love? Scientists and philosophers wear their heads to the question. No one knows a clear answer yet. True love is not so easy to decode.
As a result, sometimes we do not recognize love directly, even when it bounces towards us. And, more often, sometimes we hold something for love, which is not. Here are 3 feelings that we should not confuse with love:
Attraction, Desire, Lust – Sex is an important part of love. But beware: eroticism is not everything by any means.
The libido alone can easily be confused with love: the yearning for the other person, his body, his touch. The desire to have him with him, to feel in him, to take it completely, never to let him go again.
However, love consists of several components. It also means being totally open to a man, opening up to him, not just sexually. Who loves, not only touches the body of the beloved, but also his heart, his soul.
The next time you are in the rush of senses, pay attention to your heart, to your thoughts. Love is never alone a matter of carnal lust. Love is (also) a conscious decision, a promise to fully engage with the other person.
Sometimes a guy does not even touch us a bit. Absolutely uninteresting terrain. Zero. Nothing. .
And then it happens: You hear how other women are after him. And that he feels no intentions to go out with one of them.
This is the point where one or the other man becomes a desirable object. A man you suddenly want to have – be it because another woman has it now or because it does not pay too much attention to us. Or both.
It is the same urge that children already feel: Not their own ball is interesting, but the one with which other children are playing. It is the famous will / will principle that keeps itself alive once it is in the world. Like a trumpeter mobile.
We can not deny that this phenomenon exists. But we can warn against confusing this feel-good-feeling with real love. For once you have conquered the coveted being, our interest in it fades. We become children with balls that they no longer want to play with.
How does that sound to you? You have a man by your side who loves you, marries you and wants to start a family with you. He has a steady job and builds a house for you. You can trust anything like your best friend.
It sounds like security, right? After the security we so long for in the fast-paced world. After hold, surrender, trust. In short: the perfect conditions for a relationship.
However, there is a catch on the thing: safety alone is not enough. Just as eroticism does not make love on its own, love does not become a source of security if sexual attraction is lacking.
As the yin and the yang form a whole, love also needs two elements: the physical and the psychic. True love is a complex rarity. If you meet her, you should hold her, treasure her and cherish her. Who knows when she will meet you again in her purest form …