Can your husband annoy you while performing like a big idiot all day, hurting your feelings and making you feel small and worthless?
Only if he changes his behavior radically and even then the chances are rather bad.
Nowadays, most people begin to understand that the brain of a woman is the determining organ when it comes to kindling passion in a relationship. Much rarer one finds someone who has this opinion also of men.
Yes, men may be interested in sex themselves when there is emotional tension in the relationship, but I am talking about the aspects of a relationship where men need to work harder. I’m talking about the non-sex aspects that make up to 95% of the joy and meaning of a true and connected relationship, for both partners.
Relationship problems and emotions affect the passion of men.
In fact, men need to be in a very specific mood if you want them to do something. If you want him to really get involved in your relationship, you have to be careful about his feelings and his mood.
But what emotions are the most important for men? It’s not the same stuff as it is with women.
I’ll give you the answer. But before I do that, I have to warn you. It’s not what you would expect, and you may doubt the importance of telling me about it first.
Remember that men perceive a relationship differently. As a result, you may have considered the most important element for men to be irrelevant and unimportant.
In a relationship, the most important ingredient for men that gets them to take action is the amount of respect that comes to their attitudes, actions, and words from people around them.
When I say “becoming active”, I am referring to emotional open-mindedness, serious work on problems, genuine investment in the partnership and the desire to make you happy.
In my early twenties, there were two women, both of whom expressed their interest in me. Both of them were very attractive. Both of these women were very attractive to me. That’s exactly where the comparison broke off. The way they treated me was very different. Both used compliments to encourage the conversation and show their interest, but they did very unequally.
The first woman (we call her Janet at this point) sat with me and eight other acquaintances at a table when she went on the offensive. It may sound ridiculous, but keep in mind that in our early twenties we were almost children. She chuckled a lot (as she usually did) and whispered for a few seconds with her friend sitting next to her before she turned to me and said, “I bet you’d look really good without your shirt.” She had a stupid grin on her face and no sense of shame for her audacity.
The other woman (we call her Nicole) approached me as we came out of a building after a public event and walked along the sidewalk. She walked beside me for a moment, making small talk and suddenly changed her voice to a more serious tone. She said, “I was really impressed with what you said to Bill and Sarah last week.”
She turned her head, looked me in the eye and continued, “Your wisdom will take you far in this world, you know.”
Can you guess which of the two women could grab my attention?
In fact, they both gained my attention. Only one of them made me feel deeply respected.
The moment I heard this true respect from Nicole, I could suddenly imagine a long-term relationship with her.
The realization of this precious respect made her want to welcome her in my life and to promise her my heart. I suddenly felt a deep trust in her and the desire to never lose the deep respect she seemed to me for.
Janet also won my attention, but I felt like she was just a toy for her. I think she wanted to give me an honest compliment, but I did not feel respected. I thought she did not respect “me”, my inner “me” or the real “me”.
Sincere respect is practiced, not just spoken. This concept is hard to explain without many examples and in-depth explanations. That’s why I created a video that describes an intense experience that I had while teaching women about my so-called “respect principle”.
As a professional dating coach, there are a few things I have to offer women who can achieve a deeper and more powerful effect in their lives. Respect affects men on so many levels that women just can not perceive (at least not without some practice in male psychology). If you want to learn how to incorporate this concept into your own relationships with men, follow the link below the presentation I created on the Respect Principle.