I had a girlfriend. She was a beautiful girl. She smiled the whole time, even if she had no reason for it. She looked at the world from a positive angle. She always wanted to think only of the beautiful things in life and looked in each person for the best. She was the walking happiness.
Believe me, the world was a better place because of her.
Sadly, good people are not always destined for a happy fate. That’s what happened to her, too, and she did not deserve that. She did not deserve anything that happened to her. She did not deserve to be spit in his face, the terrible screams every night. She did not deserve her heart ripped out and shredded into thousands of pieces.
She did not deserve her self-esteem. She did not deserve to fall at the low point of her life and for what all this? All this happened because a narcissistic bastard stepped into her life, pursuing only one goal – sucking her to the end and feeding on her.
He manipulated her to the breaking point. He isolated her from the world so she could not seek help and he took her ability to help herself. He made her believe that she was nothing, that nobody cared about her and that she should be happy that anyone wanted her.
He made her believe that she must be grateful that she had him, the man who abused her.
Her way was peppered with thorns so she bleed even more. Every step she took towards her happiness, toward her escape, hurt her. But those wounds healed and they stopped bleeding. After that, she has scars that had burned deep into her skin, serving as a reminder of what she had been through.
She was healed and that was her way.
1. She decided to get well again
It happened all of a sudden. Her protective mechanism jumped up again and yelled, “now or never“. She knew she had to do something. She was sick of the manipulation and the feeling of being shitty. She knew that she was no longer herself and she finally decided that she had to do something about it. She knew that she needed to re-emerge her old self, because no one had that kind of power over her to keep her in the state she was in. She learned how to deal with a narcissistic behavior. If you want to know more about how to deal with such a dangerous behavior,
2. She got rid of the toxicity
She is an empathic person and she is always trying to empathize with others and understand how they feel. Because of this she put herself in the position of her narcissist and that destroyed her. He injected poison into her body and mind, but she knew that and she knew she needed to get rid of that poison. She talked to people who helped her at every stage, she joined support groups, and she was finally able to banish the poison from her body. That did not happen overnight and it was painful, but she was brave enough to take that step. In this way, she came one step closer to her goal of becoming fully recovered.
3. She had to deal with the crisis
She was scared because suddenly there was no fight and no screams in her life. No one was there to tell her what to do or who manipulated her or force her to do something she did not really want to do. She was no longer under surveillance and conviction, she was finally free and she did not know what to do with this freedom. It was all too much for her and too early. Imagine that you spent months in bed, and now that you feel better, you feel like you can walk again, but if you try, you can not. Your body will not let you go.
Her body did not allow her to relax. He was still hurt and did not know how to work again. That’s why she gave her body a little time. She faced her fear and fears because she knew that would not always be the case. It was just a phase that would pass and she would end up as the winner.
4. She allowed herself to be angry
She did not hold back her feelings because she knew that would only destroy her more. She knew that she could not go on and pretend that nothing had happened, because she felt everything. She could not turn her feelings off, she had to accept her and be angry – mad at him for exploiting her and angry at herself for allowing it.
She felt the pain all over her body, psychological pain that became a physical pain and she was angry about it. She was angry with herself for letting her body, heart and soul suffer. But that passed too and she went to the next challenge.
5. She forgave herself by accepting the truth
She forgave herself because she knew it was not her fault. She knew that he was sick and that his manipulations were only meant to distract her from her path and lead him to him, so that he could play his wrong games with her and suck her blood like an emotional vampire.
She accepted that he was toxic and his only goal was to hurt her, so he was easy. She realized that she had been used and trapped in the trap of a narcissist she almost could not free herself from. She forgave herself for not knowing any better. She was an empathic person who just wanted to help other people and make them laugh. In the end she did, but it took a lot of strength and in the end there was almost nothing left but sorrow and pain.
6. She admitted that she had known it all along
She finally took the responsibility and admitted that part of her had known all along what had happened. However, it was so much easier to believe that he would change and everything would be okay. She lied to herself because it meant she would not have to go through all this, that her heart would not be broken, and that she would not have to go through the extremely painful and long journey to deal with a narcissist ,
7. She adhered to the no-contact rule
You will not get rid of narcissists. They do everything necessary to win back one. They will lie and try to manipulate you so that you give them your trust again and return to them so they can mistreat you again and again. She knew that and adhered to the no-contact rule. She did not want to have anything to do with him anymore. She ignored his messages, his calls and his failed attempts to contact her friends. She banished him completely from her life and that saved her from returning to him again.
8. She embraced life and finally let go
The last phase was when she let go. The last phase was when she felt free and found her smile again. She forgave herself and looked deep into her soul. There she found all the love she had missed-the love for herself, the respect for oneself and the belief in a better world and long-term happiness.
Today she’s the beautiful girl I met a long time ago that makes everyone smile, including herself.