I was still busy picking up my broken pieces and trying to glue them together again when I met you.
I was far from ready to start something new, my heart hardly beat.
I learned to breathe again, I learned to love myself again, I tried to get my life back on track – I did not expect you to cross my path.
All I was used to was pain and disappointment.
That was all I knew, and it became normal, though I knew deep inside that it was far from it.
That’s why you were a shock because, as you can see, the pain for me was something that I expected, but all the happiness you brought to my life is something I would never dream of – the feeling.
It felt incredible, I never felt anything like it. You have appeased my fears and worries with confidence.
You have always been open and honest and I have never had to work hard to decode mixed signals as I have done in the past.
I was not the only one who made every effort, everything was reciprocated. In the foreground stood the formation of emotional bonds and not only physical.
And I was in awe of it not being real, men like you do not exist, I’m in a dream, and I never want to wake up from it.
But my fears woke me up again and again, I was so afraid to lose you. I was scared because for the first time I had something real and real. I had someone who knows how to love.
Our relationship developed quickly, it was easy for you to open up and let me into your world and your heart.
But, I was still alert, my heart was still broken, so I tried to slow down.
I was afraid that the love that flares up quickly will burn even faster.
I was afraid that you would be just like him. I was full of doubts about the relationship we were trying to develop.
So I kept running away, but you never let me go, you just pulled me closer to you.
I wanted you to know everything about me, so I literally told you everything – from the things I was most proud of, to the things I was so ashamed of.
I have shared happy and painful stories with you.
I wanted you to know my true self and not just the good ones. I wanted you to know that I still have not found a way to let go of my past.
I wanted to express my soul and what is left of my heart.
My past did not allow me to enjoy my presence. The pain that I carried with me was always mingled with happiness and I was so lost.
And once again, you have made me speechless, you have treated my words, my fears, and my desperate thoughts as if they were the most normal thing in the world.
You hugged me for so long and so hard until I started feeling safe in your embrace. I really needed that.
I needed someone who understands me. I needed someone to accept me. I needed someone who really cares about me.
But never think that you were there to fill a gap left by someone else.
You were there like an angel sent from heaven to help me while I was strong enough to fill that gap myself.
I had to fix myself, I had to find my own smile again, I had to heal completely. I had to fight my insecurities.
I had to overcome trust issues that caused someone else and stop doubting you for no good reason.
I had to find myself to find you in this love story that you have built up for us all the time.