You know, when I was younger I had so many New Year’s resolutions. From losing weight to a better look.
Then, somewhere along the way, I realized that life is not about the things that I can influence.
Life is all about things that I can not influence. So, this year I just want things that you can not buy with money.
First, I want to feel the inner peace. I want to feel good in my own skin.
I want to be a woman who can compliment and not blush because I deserve it.
I want to go down the street proudly and know that I have not done anything to anyone. I want to feel that I am worth it.
I want to feel that I am good enough. And no matter how much time has passed before this happens, I will be patient, because that’s important to me.
Second, I want to feel love so deeply that an ocean would be jealous of it. I want to be loved and respected because I deserve it.
Every time I love, I give myself completely. This time I want others to show me how much they love and appreciate me because I will not stay in the background any more.
This year, I will put myself first.
Third, I want to feel happiness in my heart. For some reason, there is not much luck in my life.
I thought that perhaps I did not have enough time for my private life and therefore could not feel the happiness. But when I think about it, that was not the problem.
The problem is much deeper in me. The problem could be all the calls I never got even though I deserved them.
The problem could be all the news nobody has sent me, though I never forget it. The problem could be all the kisses and hugs I never got.
And finally, the problem could be all the loving words I never heard. But I want to leave it all in the past because it belongs there.
I want to get rid of all those people who pretend to be my friends and who cheated on me at the first obstacles on the way.
This year, I want to devote more time to myself and find the happiness in my heart and soul that struggles so hard to come out.
So this year, my only purpose will be things that make me hungry. I am hungry for love, peace, hope, caring, happiness, harmony and all the positive feelings that I so much desired.
No matter what, I will try to give my heart and soul everything they need.
Because just as our body needs food to be healthy, so does our soul and heart need spiritual food to be alive.
And believe it or not, I want inner peace more than love. You probably wonder why, right?
Well, to be good to someone else, I have to be good to myself first. And I will not be able to do that if I have no inner peace.
As soon as I decide to surrender to someone new, I want to be content with myself. I would like to be a woman who accepts all their advantages and disadvantages.
I want to know that I’m not perfect, but that I’m trying to be. I want to know that I have done everything in my power to be content in my own skin.
And above all, I want to be a woman with self-esteem. I want to say to myself every day that I should be happy because I am doing something good for myself.
I’d like to say that I’m feeling much better than I think, and that no matter how much some people want to pull me down, I’ll never be down.
Because I’m a fighter and Heaven helps those who fight.
And in the end, when I get that inner peace that I long for so much, I will not keep it selfish just for myself.
I would like to share it with my family and friends. I want to help all people feel the blessing that I will feel, and I want us to enjoy it forever.
Well, 2019, here I come – nicer, stubborn, goal-oriented and much smarter. I hope you are ready for me, because I’m damn ready for you!