Finding out that you are cheating is terrible. It’s like being pulled off the ground under your feet. Being able to trust again afterwards is complicated and you ask how to deal with the whole thing.
What if you’re not sure he’s stranger to you? Unfortunately, there are some telltale signs that you should look out for. Keep in mind, while reading this list, that some of them are more obvious than others and if you have a specific guess, you should look for the conversation with your partner.
1. He is suddenly very concerned about his appearance again.
It could be the gym registration as well as improved hygiene (frequent showering, especially when he has just come home), trying out new toiletries or new clothes. The squeaky closet door he has always complained about (but never repaired) has suddenly disappeared. He is different, in a positive way.
The same kind of stuff you do to impress a new flame during the mating season.
2. His daily routine has changed.
If he is clever and has thought about it, he will make these changes slowly and without a recognizable pattern. He will eventually spend less time at home. Maybe he works longer, he has discovered an old hobby again for himself or he has registered in the gym.
3. His taste in music changes suddenly.
When we like someone new, we often take on his taste in music, simply because we’re being introduced to something we’ve never heard before. This is especially noticeable in his car.
4. He hides his smartphone.
His phone suddenly disappears from view and he protects his computer passwords with more vehemence than a predator protects his cub.
5. His finances are not visible.
In some cases, mysterious changes also show up in shared accounts, or lunch away from home suddenly becomes significantly more expensive. If you have not already disclosed your finances, he tends to keep them more secret. It will make no sense to the outside.
6. “Crazy” working hours.
This indicator is particularly evident when his working hours were always predictable and now no longer. There are suddenly many overtime hours that he stays in the office for longer.
7. The scent of suspicion.
Unless he’s pervading the “shower home” routine, a lingering perfume could be a strong indicator that he’s cheating on you.
8. He has mood swings.
He constantly changes his mood from hot to cold. Whether he is noticeably nicer to you or often goes out of his skin, there is something about his mood that seems changed … changed and strange. Maybe he has become more aggressive and starts more often quarrels. Some men go so far as to provoke a quarrel just to storm out of the house … right over to their “other”.
9. He has a new “colleague” at work.
Did he start to rave about a new employee? Does he mention more often having lunch with someone new at work?
10. He suddenly keeps his car clean.
Previously, he used pizza boxes to reconstruct the leaning tower of Pisa in the back seats of his car. But suddenly he behaves like Master Proper and does not even allow you to leave a cardigan in his car. If you have small children, he might try to put the child seats in your car – or they will be removed and reinstalled regularly.
This is a real cliché, but I just had to add it to the list. If you find strangers’ hair on their clothes or in their car, that’s a dangerous sign. Be careful, however, as a single incident can actually be a coincidence.
12. You catch him more often while lying.
Sooner or later, you’ll catch him broadening the truth a bit. Unfortunately, lying often leaves its mark. Find out the signs that he is lying.
13. Your sex life has rekindled or died completely.
Both possibilities indicate that he is cheating on you. Maybe he has gained self-confidence and is sexually very active with you, or he’s not making any effort to sleep with you anymore. Both cases are indicators of danger in arrears.
14. He becomes suspicious.
Since he spent time and energy sneaking around, he’s noticed the same thing about you. As soon as he begins to act unfaithful, it causes him to suspect the same thing. It can also be a way to sabotage your relationship in order to end it.
15. He suddenly has concerns about the future of your relationship.
Depending on what phase of the relationship you’re in, your guy has talked more about marrying you and growing old with you. He felt safe about these things, but now begins to hesitate. While you felt that an application was within reach, it has now become completely unthinkable.
16. He seems withdrawn and distant.
These beautiful little moments you had together are becoming more and more uncommon. It seems like he has much less time for you and it feels more and more like he’s not there for you anymore, as he once was.
17. Your gut feeling tells you that something is wrong.
If you’re reading this article, it’s very likely that you already had a bad feeling about both of you.