5 Languages ​​of Love: Which one do you speak?

Posted: December 11, 2018 by XPOFeed

True love knows no misunderstandings? Are you kidding me? Are you serious when you say that! According to experts, there are 5 languages ​​of love and if we DO NOT understand our partner’s, the dispute between us is inevitable.

In some ways, the worm is just inside. While there is no doubt that the partners love and belong together , there are always misunderstandings, arguments and injuries . 

Is that ringing something? Yes here too …

Thankfully, American psychologist and relationship expert Gary Chapman knows the  advice. According to him, there are five love languages. When two people in a relationship speak different languages ​​of love , injuries are guaranteed – true love or no. But there is hope: A language of love can be learned ! 

What is a love language?

We all express love differently – depending on personality, experience and judgment of our perception. Not just in partnerships, but in general. A love language is the way a person shows his love and sympathy to others .

  • Does he say goodbye every time “I love you”?
  • Does she spend extra hours to take the children off for an afternoon?
  • Does she give up jogging to have breakfast in bed with him?

According to Chapman, who has long worked as a couple consultant and psychotherapist, there are five fundamentally different approaches to how people communicate love. This is the basis of his five-language model.

The 5 languages ​​of love at a glance

  1. Words of recognition
  2. Gifts
  3. support
  4. Time together
  5. Physical contact

Basically, every human being is able to understand all kinds of expressions of love – and at least to use simple, basic vocabulary themselves.

(By the way: how the most important vocabulary is expressed by everyone in the different languages, you will learn in the video below!)

The 5 languages ​​of love in detail

Words of recognition

Compliments, praise, verbal appreciation, expressed understanding and approval – who expresses his affection in a marriage or partnership much and explicitly, probably uses mainly words to express his love . Typical words of recognition:

  • “It’s nice that you’re there!”
  • “Thank you for understanding me!”
  • “You are my absolute dream woman !”


For some, attentions and gifts may just be give and take from social conventions – but for many, a way to communicate feelings . Unsurprisingly, people who express their love primarily with gifts, do not wait for occasions such as Christmas or birthday. They  give what they feel when they feel like it . Be it …

  • a friendship band
  • a special book or
  • the self-made scarf

(If you’re stuck with conventional gift giving and you’re wondering,  why are we celebrating Christmas? – you’ll find out in our article)

Support by actions

Helpfulness and self-evident support and support in all matters is often perceived simply as niceness or positive character trait. But in truth, that’s often a way of communicating-people whose mother tongue of love is Acts of Service . Examples can be:

  • Help to clean up
  • Take the purchase
  • The partner unasked to carry the bike to the basement

Time together

Whoever does everything possible to experience as much as possible together with his sweetheart and to create many moments of togetherness , probably expresses his love with this language. What does that mean for couples? Well, so that at least one of them is more committed to …

  • pursue common hobbies
  • Spend weekends and holidays together
  • Maintain rituals like sharing meals.

Physical contact

Tenderness, touch, physical intimacy, sex – after that every person has a need. But in some, the touch and caresses they give their partner go  beyond physical need and fulfill an emotional one: showing others how much they love him. Typical vocabulary of these people are …

  • hold hands
  • Vanillia
  • French kiss

Why should one know the 5 languages ​​of love?

Bringing your bike down to the basement, holding hands, jogging together – it may sound like there’s not much misunderstanding. Or as if it were not bad if you did not recognize all the gestures of love as such. But in practice, it can quickly lead to difficulties when loved differently .

Let’s just imagine, my partner turns me a love service, I do not recognize as such. Instead, I wish for praise or tenderness or even expect it. He feels misunderstood, I feel unloved.  Stupid!

At least to know the 5 languages ​​of love is so helpful and useful because they make us even more aware that our perspective is neither the only possible nor the only right one . And this insight is ultimately not only in the sense of a partner, but also for singles of inestimable value ..

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